Congratulations, it’s in the right place!
Despite years of working with sick people (meaning “ill” people, not perverts) and seeing the turd hit the fan even when things are apparently going well all too frequently; I’m pleased to say that I would still describe myself as an optimist, albeit a sceptical one.
So when my wife (J) waved the positive pregnancy wee stick in front of my face (which was rude because I was trying to watch Bargain Hunt at the time) I was somewhat…well sceptical. Of course I hugged J (I’m not a monster!) and was ecstatic with excitement!
5 minutes later, I quickly swapped pyjamas for daytime clothes and sped towards our local Tesco store for more pregnancy sticks. I’ve always been a bit shy around those sorts of aisles, it always felt like you were announcing to the world that you were having sex. I’m the same when buying toilet rolls – “hey everyone look, I’m having a poo later! And I’m buying in bulk because I’m all fibred up and ready to let loose!”
Anyways, it took 3 further positive tests (from 2 different brands, and from 2 different stores) before I was more or less convinced. But as a man, nothing really changes at this point. There was nothing different about me then, than compared to 24 hours ago. If I had wee’d on a stick, it wouldn’t have read positive (I hope). Yes of course I was happy, J and I had been trying for some time. I just thought it would have felt more real.
This happened about 4 weeks ago and since then we’ve had our first scan. It was an odd experience, watching the screen as the nurse scanned around with her probe. It was the sort of anticipation I would imagine metal detector hobbyists to feel when they hunt for trinkets on the beach.
And there it was. A tiny little white blob in J’s uterus. “Congratulations, it’s in the right place” the nurse told us. I squeezed J’s hand, we had convinced ourselves it was going to be ectopic. Then I saw it. Before the nurse even told us. I saw it…I saw our unborn child’s tiny, beautifully, precious beating heart. I cried. For the first time in years I think, I cried because I was happy.
I’m going to be a dad – holy shit!